


unforgotten

by Jace_1337



Category: Halo (Video Games) & Related Fandoms
Genre: After halo 5, Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Angst, Gay, Grief/Mourning, Hurt/Comfort, Loss, M/M, PTSD John, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, hurt chief, poor chief, sad chief, very gay
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-11
Updated: 2019-07-11
Packaged: 2020-06-26 13:47:52
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,492
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19769479
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jace_1337/pseuds/Jace_1337
Summary: Everyone was sat round the campfire, everyone but the one and only Master Chief who sat a distance away near the cliffs edge trying to pick apart his own feeling but still at a loss. The arbiter invites his old friend to talk and hopefully ease johns racing thoughts.Set after halo 5 when chief, arby and the other sit round a campfire and talk its in the book bad blood and i wanted to expand on it. In my fanfic though chief sits further away worrying over cortana and stuff so arby invites him over they talk for awhile reminiscing before the conversation turns sour and Thel comforts John, and perhaps it isn't so straight





	unforgotten

Every one was sat comfortably on the logs put on the rough sand of Sanghelios around blazing camp fires reaching high in to the sky, it was an old tradition and had been lit to celebrate the defeat on the covenant once again and the safe return of the Spartans back to sangheli home world. Many of the sangheli were feasting and telling story's of glory on the battlefield around their respective fires, relaxing in the small amount of time that they had to rest before the storm hit with cortana and the guardians for it may be their last for a rather long time.

Although one was missing, the famed Master Chief. A quick glance around confirmed that he was not too far away. Sat hunched over with his helmet off and head in his hands on another log near the edge of the cliff. A pang of sorrow resided in the arbiters chest at the sight.  
Ever the recluse, arbiter mused remorsefully from his place with blue team and Osiris discussing plans, he doesn't blame the man for being they way he is, he had long since found out the circumstances of his childhood and the hardships he had faced and with losing the only family he had ever had, watching a close friend die in his arms and watching one of his only remaining friend lose their minds with nothing he could do to help but stand and watch them suffer. Not to mention the years of relentless combat and ever growing stress; one can only ponder the toll it had taken on the man.

As the night stretched on and the moons rose in the sky aliens and humans alike began peeling off to tents to catch some much needed sleep; until only a few remained. Now was perhaps the best opportunity to have a conversation with the only human that he truly cared for and had truly missed in his presumed death and years of absence, and had left a hole in his life despite them only sharing a brief time together on the battle field and on board an in amber clad. Using his baritone voice but with a warm depth that he only reserved for one man, he called said man over to join him near his now smoldering fire patting the space on the log next to him as an invitation. The call gained the mans attention who raised his head in recognition with a too tired gaze and half a smile. Chief trudged his way over exhaustion etched into his face, sitting down besides him Thel could practically hear the spartans muscles and bones groan at the strain and little rest, and the barely hidden grimace on his friends face only served to emphasis this. 

Thel quickly came to the realization that this was the first time seeing john without his ever present helmet for more than a quick glance, it was instead hanging loosely from his limp hand, scuffed and battered like its owner. John was not like the common humans the arbiter had seen roaming the halls of ships, bases and those fighting along side him, instead he was ghostly pale, almost ashen with dark bags residing under his icy blue eyes dimmed with fatigue and war but with the inkling of warmth he hadn't seen from his companion all evening giving the impression that it had been saved for him alone. A dust of light freckles had settled on his face along with a scar engraved in the bridge of his nose. With the similar colored hair as the freckles it was short but long enough that his still armored hand was carding through in a vague attempt to ease his racing thoughts. Sharp jaw line with yet another scar marking it on the left side defining his remarkable appearance, all in all it was exactly what the arbiter had expected and all he hadn't, he was striking in a way, unique, suiting the mans carefully hidden personality. 

Thel is brought back to the present by a heavy sigh coming from his friend beside him before chief stated "so long time no see."

"You can say that again my friend, i have missed your presence by my side."

"Huh, same here. I'd gotten used to your occasional battle cry from over my shoulder" a weak but genuine smile stretched over his features replacing the previous dead expression. In turn arbiter let out a breathy laugh smiling to the best of his ability but the spartan got the gesture as chiefs smile widened.

"I can still remember the first time i did it in combat by your side, i could practically see the expression under that helmet of yours." a chuckle complimented the words.

Offering another smile, they talked for an hour or so about the past and present catching up on missing years and reminiscing. They came to a stale mate at the mention of something cortana had said when she found out that they were not only allies with the sangheili but now considered each other friends.

Judging that now was a good time to ask how the other is coping and they were now the only ones who remained beside a camp fire. "How are you holding up?" arbiter inquires letting some of his concern seep into his words.

" i ..." john cut himself of with a dejected sigh; eyes darting about seemingly searching for an answer.

"Truthfully" Thel urged gently not wanting to pressure the man who has the weight of the worlds on his shoulders. " It's just you and me" he added.

That earned a hesitant glance in the warriors direction before quickly returning them back onto the smoldering fire. for a long moment arbiter didn't think he was going to get an answer but eventually he got a hesitant response in a voice barely above a whisper "i ... i don't know. I'm tired, sore, worried and .. lost "John raised a hand to ease the uncertain frown settling on his brow followed by another dejected sigh, the closing of his eyes and releasing an uneven breath. John began to continue after a moment and Thel listened tentatively "I'm exhausted, I've barley slept in days, my mind is going haywire and i don't know what to do, people have put so much faith in me but i don't know what to do." he finished with hardly held back emotion threatening to break though what was once a strong facade. He has a point, people only see him as a fighting machine not as a human dealing with grief, loss and extreme stress, Thel wouldn't be surprised if the spartan suffered from long nights woken by tiresome nightmares that shake him to the core as many sangheili warriors do after years of combat; even she once asked who was the machine between them.

Thel thought over how to comfort his friend before finally speaking the honest truth with a deep drawn out breath "it's ok, people expect so much from you, you're there idol and last hope but at your core you are still just a man, you feel pain, misery, guilt and stress; and that's alright. i know you have been taught to disregard your own thoughts and emotions but you are still human and you deserve comfort. i know its hard and you probably suffer from memories rather left forgotten, I've seen it with my own eyes on missions together when you freeze momentarily trembling uncontrollably before shaking it off and continuing like nothing happened.". John gave Thel a confused look not expecting that to come from a friend he barely new but still the words spread relief across his chest lifting some of his inner turmoil, then asked.

"you noticed them?"

"but of coarse, you were my ally and friend. I've known you haven't been right for years and i'm sure you've tried to hide it and deny it from yourself, but you've known for quite sometime as well" he returned evenly. Johns gaze returned to the fire taking in the information, yes he had known he was probably suffering with PTSD but he didn't want to believe it so ignored it, it wasn't important only the mission mattered and she had said other wise but he didn't listen. He had lived with it his whole life and had once thought it was normal until he over heard a group of marines talking about issues caused by it. It was a melancholy feeling to finally admit it and it was comforting to know that he had someone watching his back, some one to rely on, and that the arbiter was there for him despite the short time they shared together.

"Thank you" was the only return he had for the arbiter. 

" You have no need to thank me, i will gladly offer my presence to you if it helps, to talk or just for company." arbiter said sincerely, tilting his head towards his companion. "However we are avoiding what is most likely the most troubling thing in you mind for the moment. Cortana"

The arbiter wasn't wrong. The mention of chiefs AI brought back the previous sense of dread that had burrowed into his chest making It difficult to breathe normally. Causing a small hitch that John hoped the arbiter hadn't caught; he had, however chose to ignore it for now. Arbiter was happy the other man was soothed somewhat before by his words but thoughts would still linger and return later perhaps worse and more conflicting. "She was a sister to you, was she not?" starting on something happier and easing into the tougher conversation would hopefully sit better on the already weighed down conscious of his.

After a deep breath he replied to the inquiry with a shaky "Yeah, she was all i had left for a long time." a barely noticeable shiver ran up his back but obviously not from any cold. 

"Talk to me chief. I can assure you that anything you say will stay between just the two of us, i will take it to my grave and i will offer what i can to help -"

"John" chief- no john cut in quickly with a small glance towards his companion from there place originally fixated on the fire. Eyes that were fighting to keep in tears that were getting harder and harder to deny as the night stretched on and unwanted thoughts bombarded him mercilessly. Arbiter tilted his head in a silent question. "John, that's my name, my real name." with another scarce glance in his direction.

Arbiters eyes widened in surprise, mandibles slightly agape. He had told him his name. The only thing he had gotten to keep when he was taken. Something very few were trusted enough to use because he held it so close to his chest. Something so simply but arbiter understood the underlying message "Thel, Thel Vadam', that is my name if you wish to use it." was the only reply he had warmth flooding his own gaze ; realizing the other was probably unaware of his true name either. He gained a crooked smile in return with warmth in those war torn eyes. Silence relapsed between them, gazes lying on the fire in front crackling sending smoke gently rising into the star filled sky. "I miss her." It was a simple statement but it still cut through the silence like a knife. Thel prompted him to continue with an encouraging expression as he shifted closer. "I'm just so lost without her, she was always there for me. But now ... It's not like she's just gone either like my family. I have to fight her, protect humanity from her yet I couldn't have saved it without her.. I miss her." His voice finally broke on the last sentence sending a painful shard through Thel's already aching heart. Tears that likely hadn't fallen in years slowly made their way down John's marred sunken cheeks before he buried his head in his hands and a sob ripped from his throat. The years of war, torment, stress and grief finally catching up to him. Thel yearned to help his friend so hesitantly he wrapped an arm around John's quivering frame. John leaned into the embrace and let out long pent up emotions finally allowing himself the small pleasure. they stayed like this for what felt like hours but was probably only 30 minutes before chiefs breaths evened out, tears dried and the hiccuped sobs faded. Silence lapsed between them as johns mind finally slowed enough to let the lack of sleep that had been looming for weeks finally settle. The fact that they were once enemies was a distant thought as john dozed of in the arbiters arms finally getting the rest he deserves. \----------------le time skip---------- They woke to one of the arbiters generals informing they that they would be leaving to rendezvous with the infinity in just under 2 hours. John looked as though he wanted to stay despite needing to leave. They soon rose and parted as the other spartans began to rise, moving to other tasks equally important as each other. Thel talked over shipments and other moves to help with the planets black out with other warriors, only half listening more occupied with checking the spartan hoping that last nights talk had helped and thankful that Johns breakdown was only in his presence. John joined blue team and they talked while loading things on to the pelican dropship his movements were almost robotic however his body wasn't drawn taught about to snap as it was yesterday. This had also caught the rest of the spartan II's attention, it seemed that blue team knew they had talked last night sending more than one glance in his direction them all giving me a sad smile of gratitude. "Farewell, spartan" chief and arbiter clasped arms "when we first met, we were enemies fighting to end each other. Now as allies, i am confident we can face this new threat together once more." a slight slump in shoulders he heard a tired content huff from behind the golden visor before the spartan could move to board the pelican where the others were waiting Thel pulled John in for a much needed hug lasting a little longer than was probably normal but neither mentioned it. There was a clink of Mjolnir armor from behind john and arbiter found that the one in blue, fred, had nudged the spartan at his side, kelly, with his elbow, confused, Thel summed the jest up to likely be due to an inside joke between them. The alien and human parted and with a final nod john boarded the ship. As the ship lifted into the sky a sense of melancholy blanketed Thel and a familiar hole opened up in his chest, the same one that was there when chief died all those years ago.


End file.
